disappointment, surrender and findings.

Things which ive found out recently :

- I got the job at millies cookies.
- My loan from the student loan people totals £5560...£3000 of which is for fees...leaving £2560 for everything else...
- The accomodation people gave me catered halls, which costs £3790...well over anything i could afford...so...no halls for me...i am bound to live at home.
- Im actually really disappointed...because i assumed id be staying away...much like i assumed id be moving out of birmingham (not very-cleverly...). I guess in some ways i feel like ill be missing out...but yeah...many things which ill have to get used to again since i thought id be leaving it all...wierd. Yeah, i got used to the idea of stayin in brum...even though i was abit bummed...like..."ah man...really?"...now have to get used to this...Guess God knew He had to ease it to me gently that i have to stay at home...as well as stay in brum. In some ways gutted. In others, really really want to go where God leads. Thats where the surrender comes in i guess. Learning more about what giving up my life for God means - wherever He wants ill go, even if i dont want to. Always said i would if He wanted, now its time to live it out. Doesn't matter where i am, can worship Him anywhere...can live for Him anywhere...can grow in Him anywhere...why not home? In reality...its not important where i am physically...just spiritually. It'll all be gravy in the end. Just a small blip in the road with the disappointment thing.
- It is possible to drown in paperwork and forms...
- Its interesting seeing how freindships and things evolve and change. Strange cos people find new fads, new exciting things, new people, and then friendships can drift...or change. Bizzare. Looking forward to making new friends at uni though...actually can't wait. i like meeting new people.
- My grandad in malaysia is sick. Got severe diabetes and some kind of lump in his lung...they dont know what it is. Just gonna take another x ray in a few weeks and see if its grown to confirm whether or not its cancer. If it is, theres nothing they can do anyway, because hes so old, but my dad'll go over to malaysia to spend time with him. If it doesnt then i think they'll just keep monitoring it n stuff...family in malaysia worried...think my dad is too. but its hard to read him, hes a closed book.
- Theory Driving next week...need to find the book and read it...
- Gotta buy a bus pass...£260 for whole year. Seems like so much money...
- I like travelling. Wierd, after barcelona i feel more inclined to move away from england...somewhere else...i like living out of a suitcase...really bizzare...feeling like a bit of a drifter. Maybe its just part of the whole getting bored fairly quickly thing. Gotta get used to brum long term though...maybe God wants me to be here my whole life. We shall see!
- I need more patience with my family.
-Got my timetable from uni...so exciting...monday is 11-2. haha...
- Got my part one coaching course thing the sunday before freshers week...markes the start of a new era! Means more commitments...have to help coach at the junior clubs...dno when that'll be yet.
- Get my fixtures list soon for badminton matches! yay! should start sometimes in october.
- Im taking my sister to see the pussycat dolls. *raises eyebrow* should be interesting.
- Not everyone knows what a scatterbrain is...but dressing up as one is SO fun... :D

Just a lil insight to whats happening at the moment. sure theres other stuff, but hey it took me long enough to think these up...the others are lost in my memory for now.
Hope y'all are ok.