Returns, Work and Distances.

So this weekend Ross returned from the far and distant land of loserville! There i was innocently working on friday...minding my own business...and who should APPEAR?!?! :P I was shocked to say the least, especially since he kept it so quiet his mum didnt even know...sneaky deceitful boy. :P
Anywho, he off-ed to have dinner, i continued working (no wierd customers, but a few angry ones...), boss-man continued his random-madness, i strengthened my ever-blossoming-friendly relationship with the latte machine and i sold a butt load of cookies.
Then he returned (again) (hurrah!), tuuli appeareded and we went to tuuls...dropped her off...picked up my mum and went off to sme random pub for a drink. The pub was bizzare. People sing in a bizzare manner when they're drunk...
Then off to ross's to surprise his unknowing family!
Mwahaha.

Saw two films this wkend...the last kiss (not as good as i thought it would be) and step up (i liked it :D). Good times.
Got dinner at ross's aswell. *grins*. CHEESECAKE! :D Oh...and chicken curry. i am thankful for Janet. Truly thankful.

Played in another match. Makes my match count 3 this week, but only 6 in the past 4 weeks. So thats ok. :) this season has been awesome so far...partners changed (Chee), and we're unbeaten as of yet. :D woot! He's really good though, so.
Although there was that one match where i played with some other dude. and the ladies match. but apart from that...

Work - have lots now, but less motivation to work! Well, i want to work, but...i can't find a place to work. I find it hard to work at home...i get distracted most other places...i should go starbucks. Try that out. Any ideas?
Oh, when i say a lot...i mean 3 pieces of work due in before christmas. And an exam in the last week of term.

Kinda feel dry. Spiritually i mean, not physically. I guess sitting indoors i expect to be dry.
Anywho, theres so much to attack your faith at uni. So many random quips in conversation, so much unbelief and disdain. So much sleeping around and pressure to be 'cool'. So much judgement!
But, ive never really experienced attacking of faith which is so clever and seemingly logical...arguments against God which, until you really think, seem to make sense. Even when im reading my bible and trying to find God, get into His space, theres these little voices clawing at my brain. Its like unbelief, but i believe! Its just...distracting...and frustrating because then i get all tangled up in what they're saying, and then i lose focus and then bam im so tired i have no choice but to sleep.
I actually just sit there, with my bible open, lost. Its so strange, just staring into space stuck in this place of thought and it feels like theres no door out.
At the same time, this dryness just makes me believe in Him even more. How can He be 'unreal' when i find myself so lost and helpless without Him? How can He be unreal? Now, theres something blocking my relationship with Him, and i can literally feel my purpose, life and joy draining away. But with Him, i know...if i could just...find Him...if i could just keep waving my hands frantically in this dark place...eventually ill strike something, come into contact with Him again and the strength and the purpose, the joy and the life would just come flowing back. He exists because when He's AWOL, its obvious. I guess its a weak argument in terms of arguments. But in my mind, theres nothing stronger. I know what its like without Him...and with Him. And with Him its so much better. With Him. If i sit still for a few seconds and think about Him, i can feel His presence. I can feel His...warmth? Love? Affection? I can remember all the times He's been there and know that right at this moment i want to be with Him. The pauses are few and far between though. Something i want to make more regular.
Oh, me of such little faith. :P I wanted to walk on water but got too bogged down by the waves, the hugeness of them, the smallness of me and the seeming illogicality of actually WALKING on water...so bogged down in fact that i forgot, it was God who said i could.
God said i should go to uni. God said birmingham. God said home. God said go. God said He'd be there. God said my future is in His hands and i don't need to worry. God said He loves me and thats all that matters. God said it'd be hard.
So im not worrying, but it is hard. whoopee! Well, God doesn't lie.
But, eternal perspective! The year motto! and the year is ending...wonder what He'll give me as a year motto next year.
Don't wanna get bogged down in this mud and crudness. Whats the point when now has come and gone and everything i have to look forward to it yet to come?
Mmm. Always struggle somewhat with posting things which are negative, but im sharing it with you guys because my life should be open to you. Its not mine anymore - the things that i go through aren't mine, but if i have to go through stuff, then i might aswell share it with you guys because someone might be able to realise my mistakes and not make it themselves. Something might trigger something, or not. Its not important, it doesnt' matter. Just being honest.

Family life is vaguely going to pot. Going to uni makes you more selfish. :P I want to love them more. They deserve more.

Dad's bday on wednesday. Old fogie. 50! half a century! my mum made me laugh the other day...
God's been good. To bless him with life. To bless us with his life. Lets hope we're still celebrating his life in another ten years. How awesome would it be to celebrate his name being written in the book of life? Ah...one day hopefully.

Listening to lots of starfield, ben harper + the blind boys of alabama, eva cassidy and bethany dillon.
They are currently the most played on my iTunes.
Norah Jones is making a re-appearance aswell. Liking the chilled out atmosphere atm.
Listening to creed atm. :) Thanks for the intro nick, one of many eh? :P

Gonna load up mac office now.
Turrah!