Monday.

I think life is getting more difficult to explain...things recently have been cool, strange things happening, wierd revelations, different tendencies, God speaking, feeling of growth, of aging (not in a bad way).
I guess since just before 40 Days of Love, (its hard to pinpoint when it started, was sort of a gradual time with God - confessing, hearing, understanding, opening...), things have been more alive. I can kinda dig into the bible again, things seem more alive, things seem to have more meaning, i dno, its hard to explain, but the difference between september-february and now is noticable...marked.
Theres this peace, and rest, although i know that my life is still as busy - if not getting slightly busier - as before.
Im at peace internally about things as they are now, but i know its just a short while before God starts challenging those habits - the busyness - and the activites which might be hindering me from fulfilling His plan for my life. Actually, it sort of feels like this is a break, a short respite before the work begins. There's no point in standing still and it all being 'ok', when you could be challenged and striving.
And theres a running theme of LISTENING. How can i know anything if i don't listen? How can i ask for wisdom, or for an answer if im not even listening for it? How can i expect to grow and understand more of Him when im not listening to Him properly? How can i expect our relationship to deepen if i don't listen to His voice and give Him my full, undivided attention and devotion? I guess its a challenge for everyone. Just listening, its so much more, and it kinda takes more devotion, more focus when listening for God. Its not easy, but then yeah, no one said it would be :P
I just get so caught up in life, in living, that i forget to actually live. My to do list is easily outweighed by the number of things on my to-pray list, and yet which do i pay more attention to? Which do i participate more in? Which do i participate more wholeheartedly in?!
Theres something very wrong with how my desires are lined up at the moment, but i trust enough to know He will change them in time. I wouldn't be able to deal with all my shortcomings being altered or brought to light all at once. Im so glad He is gracious and understanding in how He is. I KNOW that He'll never give me more than i can bear, but i never really APPRECIATED it. Thank You so much God.
Something else thats been coming up is for my food to be doing His will...to find my nutrition in Him. Still a thought in progress.

Started a bible study up with a girl at uni - precius. It was interesting last week, stumbly, kinda here and there, but as He always does, God is moving despite my failings and weaknesses, He's opening hearts and just really moving. And its awesome. There's more to come for her. :) Makes me feel...such joy. :D Like, feeling just a snippet of my Dad's joy for precius, but, its just such a tiny amount really, imagine...in eternity...get to share in His FULL joy.
Anywho, yeah...its been cool.
Will post up about what God's been teaching me, and stuff He's shown me through His word...and the dream. :) which, actually ive only shared with 2 people. guess, its kind of a revealing dream. but right now, im shattered. bedtime.
goodnight. wishing you, whoever you are reading, a fullness of joy. may you be filled to bursting with the unending love and compassion of my Dad.